Leaving!

Now that I've found someone I can trust and can look at without fear or hesitantly or speak to in a soft voice... that I can kiss, that I can cuddle with, that I can admit to making her jacket make me feel safe...they move. :(( Just pick up and move, on the last day of school. I'm torn between two doors...joy and understanding (which is very important in a relationship) and, the second one (the winner), tears and depression and lies to cover it up. What is wrong with me? I begged our own BEST friend to hint her a few questions for me since I don't have the guts to say, "Hey hang out with me." or "I feel neglected..." to my own GIRLFRIEND. Anyway, off to sleep I go with my girlfriend's jacket to slow the tears...maybe I'll just get over her again...why did I even say yes?

Bombshells

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Bombshells of

Truth fall upon our

Oblivious heads.

5/17/11 </3*breaking inside...*
18 days to go...

~ CHUU *poofs away in mists of memories*

Hairstyles and Gays in Religon and General

Today, I commented on a "gays are cool, dont bash them" kinda status on my friend's facebook wall and this one girl came up with "The bible says its wrong although I dont care cause God is gotta get them." *facepalm* If "god" existed then I would be happy with my mother still living with me but you don't see that. So, anyway, I commented back with a "I'm not christan sooo...I care why? Love dont mattah, love is love. Want kids and your gay? Then just adopt" or if you're a girl get a sperm donor. Simple. Easy fix, no sweat. And then you still have your lovely lover, who is also a girl. (My situation but I dont want kids.)  And yes, I'm a Bi Witch with the hat and girlfriend to go with.


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 Earlier I went all girlie, and since I can't braid, twirled my hair into a funky quad-braid! :DDD LMAO I'll post pics and a tut on it soon but I wouldn't suggest walking out with it unless your extraordinarily brave. I'm only doing it to curl my hair so I can get curls in my straight hair for a few hours at least. But my now usual hairstyle, instead of just down and brushed, will be piggietails and gothic black ribbon around the hairtye. :))

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Sorry I bored you with my random chit chat and everythin :// lolz night, CHUU *poof*

More on my complicated lovelife

 

Right now, this song is my theme. Now, I know I'm not being neglected by Iggy 'cause we're the best couple I've ever seen (besides kami and hansie) in secret but there is still a few issues with Iggy (in my eyes). She doesn't ever ask for anything. I can't get into her head. Everyone bashes me 'cause I can get into these relationships but usually I can get into my partners head but it's like she's walled up and won't let anyone in, not even me.

I want her to ask me to hang out with her, I want her to ask me to walk down to the school with her, I want her to ask to push me against a wall and kiss me hard. I want her to just enjoy the little things. Yes, she does enjoy us together, I can see it in her eyes, but she just...doesn't have those things. You think a person like me would say, "HEY whats up!" but  I'm too afraid to come off as a brat (I know, I just called myself a brat)...I'm afraid to lose HER. It's just...I can't stand it. I do love her, she loves me and we've been through this twice but I do bear the weight of it all and it's just not cool. I'm not saying every thing in life is easy, cause it's not, but you have to get through it and this I just can't. What do I do?